Banter Buffs Gifts

'Any chance of a bit of....er...Blue on Blue?'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Cat Nip.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

'He does lack social skills.'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Cheeze Wiz.

The Golfing Accident

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Peach flirting with a banana.

Wedding disaster #27.

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"I think it stopped breathing."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"And would you like flies with that?"

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

Milk Bar - "Don't you think you've had enough?"

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"