Banter Buddy Gifts

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

'I talk to myself because I'm the only one who LISTENS!'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'It was a gift.'

"I guess I just want a guy friend...someone I can talk to about stuff."

'People often say they've 'dined out' on a particular story - we'd like a meal on that basis.'

'Did you spill my pint?'

"Oh, lighten up! How can you possibly think this has become an Irish neighbourhood overnight?"

Peach flirting with a banana.

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

"You know all the best pubs for lunch, Seamus."

Bernie's passport photo was so bad, he was banned in sixteen countries for over five years.

"Will you stop saying I hit a birdie on that last hole! Is it my fault that bird flew into the path of my ball?"

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

"You know, dude, you're my best friend. You may not be the coolest guy in the school. Or the most popular guy...or the smartest guy. But you're in school, you know? And you're all right."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I think the bowler's calling him a f**King k**b-end - yet it's f**king k**b-end all right and the batsman's finger goes up!"

'Blah, blah, blah....'

"Maintenance sex man!"

'You must spend you whole life in here.' - 'No, sometimes I go down to the Crown.'

'We do not tee off in front of the markers.' - 'This is my second stroke.'

How's Sadie feeling? I checked in with her this morning. She was sleeping ... She seemed a little out of it. But she managed to recognize me, which was heartening, sort of. Bug off, loser!

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Do you know the Lincolnshire poacher?'

"I tell the truth, and sometimes it's funny."

"I've always treated my body like a temple." "More like a 'bounce house' from what I've heard."

That hurts, Axel. I've been called a couch potato before, but never a bench potato.

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

I used my first draft pick on the turkey leg. It's a proven point-getter! I drafted potatoes. They're not flashy but they are a reliable performer! I'll trade my cranberry sauce for you pie. It's a win-win trade that will benefit us both! No trades -- This pie will score a lot of points for me later! Why are they talking about this wonderful meal like it's fantasy football? It's not a game with winners and losers here. You're absolutely right! Just being here together sharing this meal,

Ha! My grandma could cast farther than that! Doug's day of fishing for compliments was not going as planned …

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

So, arch-nemesis, you need my help. What for, pray tell? Mumble, mumble, mumble … Speak up, person who needs my side counsel. Oh, fine! I need help using a computer. And thus the heavens opened and light shone upon the world. Worst day of my life.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con