Banter Lover Gifts

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'It takes a great man to admit his mistakes. Fortunately, I've never made any.'

'I'm worried about the wife, Doctor. She hasn't contradicted me all day!'

'Why the chicken crossed the road.'

'How long will it be until he can sit up and take the criticism?'

'An optimist would say, 'Half Full,' but I'm going that extra step and say you're Completely Full of it.'

'Care to guess how you rated in my diary last night?'

'We brought in our own wine. Were we supposed to bring our own stems, too?'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'It's a great party. Everyone here is more insecure than I am!'

'Ye call that a hairy knee?! Now, that's a hairy knee, lad!'

Nice boobs. Where did you buy them?

'Hey goofy lookin'. . . yeah, you in the hat, I'm talking to you!'

'My wife doesn't understand football.'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

'So do I, Bradford-on-Benefits.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

"Do try to seem amused by Howard's single entendres. He's working up to a double."

"When I said nobody is perfect she said I was the perfect nobody."

"Hey buddy - how's things? You're not acting up again are you?"

An Archeologic Dig

"Welcome to the comedy club, sir! Heckling or non-heckling?"

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

"Will you stop saying 'I thought you liked a bit of rough...!!'"

"No, I'm sure you had hair when we were driving over here. Curly kind of hair."

Germany-France: Pre-match banter

'Speak with the voice of reason again.'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

We're back, baby! Oh, no. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr. Web. $12.50. I'll have Jell-o. Make that two Jello-os. We're celebrating. The old lady and I are back together again. What? How dare you?! I'm only four months older than you. You're on thin ice, darling. Oh, I'm on thin ice, snookums? Am I the one who invited his freeloading sister to live with us without even a discussion? Am I the one who "accidentally" left the gate open so her husband's beloved dog could run away? ... Dear? You're the

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

I just edited your Wikipedia entry. Tap tap tap tap tap. Big whoop. What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop