Banter Lover Gifts

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'It takes a great man to admit his mistakes. Fortunately, I've never made any.'

'I'm worried about the wife, Doctor. She hasn't contradicted me all day!'

'Why the chicken crossed the road.'

'How long will it be until he can sit up and take the criticism?'

'An optimist would say, 'Half Full,' but I'm going that extra step and say you're Completely Full of it.'

'Care to guess how you rated in my diary last night?'

'We brought in our own wine. Were we supposed to bring our own stems, too?'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'It's a great party. Everyone here is more insecure than I am!'

'Ye call that a hairy knee?! Now, that's a hairy knee, lad!'

Nice boobs. Where did you buy them?

'Hey goofy lookin'. . . yeah, you in the hat, I'm talking to you!'

'My wife doesn't understand football.'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

'So do I, Bradford-on-Benefits.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

"Do try to seem amused by Howard's single entendres. He's working up to a double."

"When I said nobody is perfect she said I was the perfect nobody."

"Hey buddy - how's things? You're not acting up again are you?"

An Archeologic Dig

"Welcome to the comedy club, sir! Heckling or non-heckling?"

"Will you stop saying 'I thought you liked a bit of rough...!!'"

"No, I'm sure you had hair when we were driving over here. Curly kind of hair."

Germany-France: Pre-match banter

'Speak with the voice of reason again.'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Sports Bar: 5-7 pm No Bullying During Happy Hour.

'I may have faults, but at least they're not catching.'

'But if you really were 30 years younger, I'd not have been born yet.'