Romantic Banter Lover Gifts

'Women are so illogical! -- first she says she wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole, and then she punches me in the nose!'

'How come you always have to have the last . . .'

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Honk if you love me!"

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

An Archeologic Dig

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

Frog Prince holds sign: 'Will work for kisses'.

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

The Gilmore Girls

"She said don't forget the straw."

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

"Let's not get too hot for each other. I want us to last."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Here comes Ted.'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."