Lighthearted Banter Lover Gifts

'Did you hear about the fool who goes around saying no all the time?'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

An Archeologic Dig

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

The Gilmore Girls

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Here comes Ted.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

Home Business - Wife.

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."