Light-hearted Banter Lover Gifts

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

An Archeologic Dig

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

Shoe repair

Cold caller.

Preachers with far too much input

When Stupid People Get an Idea

The Gilmore Girls

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

'Here comes Ted.'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."