Light-hearted Humor Lover Gifts

'Can you please finish reading and turn off your butt?'

Earl's job is to replace the bulb in the light at the end of the tunnel.

Giving thanks.

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

Medical Marijuana Prescrptions

Natural righties

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

'How about giving me your phone number?. . . But I don't know your name.'

'He drinks the wine ,then lays it down.'

"I haven't gotten much sleep since my parents put in that night light."

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

A Golden Non-Retriever

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

Shoe repair

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Surreal Ale Pub.

Safe driver.

'Vacuums!'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

Spiv

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

Beach Attraction

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

Soldier With Mouse Ears.