Light-hearted Humor Fan Gifts

Memory-Loss Anonymous

We couldn't help but notice, Mary, that you got a new fleece, and it's white as snow.

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

Knight Light

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Excuse me mate, have you got a light?"

''Can't believe I'm dating a guy who picks a fight at a salad bar - and loses.'

'Perhaps I should clarify. When I told you to drink plenty of fluids...'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Cloud quartet

"If you can't sleep, try playing some relaxing human noises."

"Too much concealer?"

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Girl in cow onesie.

Shoe repair

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Fetch the Boomerang

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

Yeti/Not Yeti

Beach Attraction

Giving thanks.

I slept funny last night!

A Human balloon being sold to a child balloon.

Dog emojis.

Sheet Music

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

'First past the post?'

" When you're done fooling around with those lights, come and eat your dinner, it's getting cold!"

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

'I hate it when people vote with their feet'