Fan Of Light-hearted Jokes Gifts

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

A Golden Non-Retriever

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Surreal Ale Pub.

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

'Vacuums!'

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"So tell me about your last poop."

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

'What colour is a hiccup?'

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

"Is the light bothering you?"

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

Beach Attraction

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

'Hello? Animal control?'

Giving thanks.

"Doctor I think I'm a moth..."

"Dude, don't say it..."

I slept funny last night!

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."