Fan Of Lighthearted Humor Gifts

Sometimes honesty is not the best policy.

"Bless You."

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

A Golden Non-Retriever

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

Funky Facts: Elephants.

One day having a great personality was going to become a crucial evolutionary trait...

"So tell me about your last poop."

Unemployed man given role as the 'gluten fairy'.

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

'What colour is a hiccup?'

Yeti/Not Yeti

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

Beach Attraction

Giving thanks.

We couldn't help but notice, Mary, that you got a new fleece, and it's white as snow.

I slept funny last night!

Dog emojis.

A Human balloon being sold to a child balloon.

"We're heading south for the winter—any chance we can get the place again next spring?"

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

'Our days of wine and roses are over, Ethel. We're going to have to settle for champagne and tulips.'

'Perhaps I should clarify. When I told you to drink plenty of fluids...'

Great gift ideas for the older man.

Mind lost by a mother.

Ha ha ha, yours is blue, too!

"If you can't sleep, try playing some relaxing human noises."