Lighthearted Humor Fans Gifts

Yeti/Not Yeti

"And is that the windshield that killed your husband?!"

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Raised by Dogs

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'We found you in a cabbage!'

A Golden Non-Retriever

'Hon, I'm home!'

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

Tequila Mockingbird

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Guess who's teething?'

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'Henry, cut that out.'

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

"What?!"

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

Beer Lunch

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Under New Mismanagement

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Sawrd Fighting

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.