Lighthearted Humor Fans Pillows

Yeti/Not Yeti

"And is that the windshield that killed your husband?!"

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Raised by Dogs

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

A Golden Non-Retriever

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'Hon, I'm home!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

Tequila Mockingbird

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Guess who's teething?'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'Henry, cut that out.'

"What?!"

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

Beer Lunch

Under New Mismanagement

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Sawrd Fighting

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

"It's not you, I just prefer big dogs."