Lovers Of Witty Humor Pillows

'The recession is now affecting Ralph's hairline.'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

"Returns"

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

"I love you the way the French love Jerry Lewis."

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

'Well, in all my years as a relationships adviser, this is the first time I've had to admit defeat within the first five minutes!'

Ice fisherman using plunger to catch fish

Home Business - Wife.

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

Witch crashes into building on her broom and safety airbag deploys.

Yeti/Not Yeti

"He still hasn't figured out how to get out of his invisible cubicle."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

'I 'Marvo the magician', being of right mind...have taken it with me.'

After an argument, they always kissed and made up.

STILL LIVES - 'I never know if I'm coming or going with you!'

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

'You're sexy when your mind is somewhere else.'

"He's been talking to that cat again!"

'That's what you get for discovering gravity, Sir Isaac.'

'Commons Bar' - "I would never vote to bring back flogging...why should criminals get for free what MP's have to pay for?"

"Control yourselves!... I only said you may kiss the bride!"

'Jogging is a great exercise for a tit man!'

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

'You look lovely today.'

'What do you mean 'What would Jane Austen do?''