Witty Humor Fans Pillows

'A cheeky red?'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"I love this time of year."

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

Make your own bottled water.

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

"You have a lot of unresolved anger and it's settled in your hat."

Spiv

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

Privatization and Deregulation are the gas in the engine of the economy.

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

Yeti/Not Yeti

"Why did we buy such huge furniture?"

Under Canvas

'Dear Oscar, such a dry sense of humour.'

Tom Bowler

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.

Advertising makes you crave things you never knew existed.

'Say, aren't you the building inspector who gave us such a hard time when we were building a house last year?'

'Today is. . . Tuesday! We are going. . . on a picnic. . . I am. . . an idiot.'

'Now that we've lulled you with our no-haggle sales policy, our finance manager will apply heavy arm twisting for dealer add-ons.'

Koko's little list