Lighthearted Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

'So, as you clearly can see, your wife is correct...you really don't have a brain in your head!'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"They're comfortable."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Unemotional Support Animal

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

Stairlift around cliff face.

"She wishes to range free!"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

How Amazon was invented

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.