Lighthearted Humor Lover Pillows

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

"Dinner's almost ready, you better not have eaten anything on the way home!"

Plumber in a Thong

'Who's been eating chewing gum?'

'I'm the alpha angel.'

Mind lost by a mother.

Great gift ideas for the older man.

"Is that a braille book? Yes, and normally I don't like people reading over my shoulder."

"Can you call my wife and tell her how fast I was going that fast? She'll never believe me."

"Another year and another inch for your belt buckle."

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

Spiv

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

Yeti/Not Yeti

Beach Attraction

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

Advertising makes you crave things you never knew existed.

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."

Giving thanks.

Carpet cleaning

We couldn't help but notice, Mary, that you got a new fleece, and it's white as snow.

'You look lovely today.'

A Human balloon being sold to a child balloon.

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."