Lighthearted Humor Lover Pillows

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

"Dinner's almost ready, you better not have eaten anything on the way home!"

Plumber in a Thong

'Who's been eating chewing gum?'

'I'm the alpha angel.'

Great gift ideas for the older man.

"Is that a braille book? Yes, and normally I don't like people reading over my shoulder."

"Can you call my wife and tell her how fast I was going that fast? She'll never believe me."

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

Spiv

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

Beach Attraction

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

Yeti/Not Yeti

Advertising makes you crave things you never knew existed.

Carpet cleaning

Giving thanks.

A Human balloon being sold to a child balloon.

'You look lovely today.'

"Just a reminder, … I'll be billing all seven personalities together."

I slept funny last night!

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

"If you can't sleep, try playing some relaxing human noises."