Lovers Of Witty Humor Prints

When my ship came in it turned out to be a leaky oil tanker.

'The recession is now affecting Ralph's hairline.'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

"Returns"

Jackson Pollock's short-lived career as a kid's party face painter.

"I love you the way the French love Jerry Lewis."

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

Yeti/Not Yeti

Home Business - Wife.

Witch crashes into building on her broom and safety airbag deploys.

"He still hasn't figured out how to get out of his invisible cubicle."

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

'Well, in all my years as a relationships adviser, this is the first time I've had to admit defeat within the first five minutes!'

Ice fisherman using plunger to catch fish

'I 'Marvo the magician', being of right mind...have taken it with me.'

"It's the best work you've ever done. Still pretty awful."

After an argument, they always kissed and made up.

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

'You look lovely today.'

'Commons Bar' - "I would never vote to bring back flogging...why should criminals get for free what MP's have to pay for?"

STILL LIVES - 'I never know if I'm coming or going with you!'

'What do you mean 'What would Jane Austen do?''

"He's been talking to that cat again!"

"Control yourselves!... I only said you may kiss the bride!"

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

'That's what you get for discovering gravity, Sir Isaac.'

'Jogging is a great exercise for a tit man!'

You have nothing to fear but fear itself, Al. I realize that, Dr. Kapuchnik. That's why I always have my fear with a side of fries.