Lighthearted Humor Aficionado Gifts

'What colour is a hiccup?'

Short Term Memory Loss Centre

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"Bless You."

A Golden Non-Retriever

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

Funky Facts: Elephants.

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"So tell me about your last poop."

One day having a great personality was going to become a crucial evolutionary trait...

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

Although a rare sight in the old west, the secluded ice rinks brought out a side of the lone passing-by cowboy, that even they themselves barely knew existed.

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

Beach Attraction

I slept funny last night!

A Human balloon being sold to a child balloon.

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

He saw a bright white light, but it was no heaven.

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

Great gift ideas for the older man.

'Fancy a banana split?'

"Dinner's almost ready, you better not have eaten anything on the way home!"

"If you can't sleep, try playing some relaxing human noises."

"Don't mind him, he's just my pet peeve."

'Our days of wine and roses are over, Ethel. We're going to have to settle for champagne and tulips.'