Lighthearted Humor Enthusiast Gifts

You're a smart guy, Tom...and you're telling me you can't change the lightbulb in the laundry room?

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

'Our days of wine and roses are over, Ethel. We're going to have to settle for champagne and tulips.'

"She's had an accident in the kitchen, so I know what I'll be getting for dinner."

"Look, Honey, I got dinner on line!"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Do Not Resuscitate

Selling lemon latt�

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Faster, Georges, faster!

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Speed Dating for Turtles

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Cariactures

'Cannonball!'