Lighthearted Humor Aficionado Pillows

No, actually, I've never found money in my pocket I didn't know I had.

'What colour is a hiccup?'

Short Term Memory Loss Centre

"Bless You."

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

A Golden Non-Retriever

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Funky Facts: Elephants.

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

Unemployed man given role as the 'gluten fairy'.

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

"So tell me about your last poop."

One day having a great personality was going to become a crucial evolutionary trait...

Although a rare sight in the old west, the secluded ice rinks brought out a side of the lone passing-by cowboy, that even they themselves barely knew existed.

Beach Attraction

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

I slept funny last night!

We couldn't help but notice, Mary, that you got a new fleece, and it's white as snow.

Dog emojis.

A Human balloon being sold to a child balloon.

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

'Fancy a banana split?'

Great gift ideas for the older man.

Ha ha ha, yours is blue, too!

Mind lost by a mother.

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

"Don't mind him, he's just my pet peeve."

"Dinner's almost ready, you better not have eaten anything on the way home!"

"If you can't sleep, try playing some relaxing human noises."