Light-hearted Humor Gifts

" When you're done fooling around with those lights, come and eat your dinner, it's getting cold!"

Sorry it's so dark in here - We've got a short circuit somewhere.'

"Guys aren't very good at sharing their feelings, are they?"

Get crazy once in a while

A Golden Non-Retriever

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Shoe repair

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Vacuums!'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

'What colour is a hiccup?'

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

Visual gag (the real Mona Lisa behind the scenes).

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

"Is the light bothering you?"

"It's face painting Friday."

'Hello? Animal control?'

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."

'Hey Larry! Jim here! Haven't seen you since way last Christmas! How the heck are ya, dude?'

"Doctor I think I'm a moth..."

Giving thanks.

We couldn't help but notice, Mary, that you got a new fleece, and it's white as snow.