Flirtatious Banter Lover Gifts

"How are you getting along with your French lodger?"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

An Archeologic Dig

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

The Gilmore Girls

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'Here comes Ted.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

"Sure, you're an elephant, but you're not at all elephantine."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...