Playful Banter Lover Gifts

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

Mysteries of the ocean...

'So which is it - transfixed by my beauty or standing on my ten-pound note?'

Christmas Party Pick-up Lines.

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

An Archeologic Dig

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

The Gilmore Girls

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

Cold caller.

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

'Here comes Ted.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

Valentine's Day calls for a romantic candlelight dinner and soft music. Then a trip back to my place for some heavy groping and groaning.

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."