Lighthearted Banter Lover Prints

'Did you hear about the fool who goes around saying no all the time?'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

An Archeologic Dig

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Cold caller.

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

The Gilmore Girls

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

'Here comes Ted.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

Home Business - Wife.

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."