Flirty Banter Lover Prints

'What!?' she exclaimed passionately as her milky white skin gleamed with perspiration. 'You are a cartoonist! I just love cartoonists!'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

An Archeologic Dig

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

'Do you come here often?'

"Wanna go out?"

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

The Gilmore Girls

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"Sure, you're an elephant, but you're not at all elephantine."

'Here comes Ted.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."