Tv Banter Lover Gifts

'That'll be the day you catch me 'Dancing with the stars'!'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'Einsteiners.'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

TV-Man

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Make your resolutions achievable.

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'I'll sure be glad when somebody invents cable!'

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

Solar Panel

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

An Archeologic Dig

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

God with Earth Controller

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

Remote control wars.

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

Young Houdini

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."