Brainy Banter Lover Gifts

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"And to think I gave Man such a large brain to serve as a heat radiator."

"Your computer is fine. It's your brain that has a lot of useless programs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an uninstall button."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

An Archeologic Dig

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

The Gilmore Girls

Cold caller.

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'Here comes Ted.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"No one is denying that you're smart. For that to happen someone would have to say you're smart."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

U.S. Male - Part Five

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'