Brainy Banter Lover Gifts

"And to think I gave Man such a large brain to serve as a heat radiator."

"Your computer is fine. It's your brain that has a lot of useless programs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an uninstall button."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

An Archeologic Dig

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

Cold caller.

The Gilmore Girls

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Here comes Ted.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"No one is denying that you're smart. For that to happen someone would have to say you're smart."

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''