Ironic Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Well, instead of discussing the book we could discuss why none of us had time to read it."

Men Working Things Out

"The sudden resignation caught many by surprise. 'I wish to spend more time with my family,' he said. When contacted, his family replied, 'Who?'"

"To be environmentally responsible I'm recycling my sister's old book reports."

Following through!

'I'm sorry, but to lower your taxes you're going to have to make more money.'

Winter Breaks

Procrastinators Anonymous - Postponed (Colour)

Elephant Hunting

Protesters: 'Ignore us' - 'We're just taking a walk'.

Happy Earth Day!

"Not so much fun being people-watched back, eh?"

'Money can't buy happiness, Sims, so instead of a raise, I'm giving you a bottle of prozac.'

'She must be the girl for you, son, look how much your mother dislikes her.'

'I've never seen anything like this...You have seven different personalities and all of them are boring.'

'I said, I'm running away...Who's going to drive me?'

Climbing up stacked boxes marked this way up

'HOMELESS - Anything helps - all major credit and debit cards accepted.'

'Ok Mr. Hotshot, sell our most expensive air conditioner to the next guy who walks in the door.'

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'Nine out of ten doctors think excessive drinking is bad for your health.'

'It's a fund-raising dinner for the needy ... but hopefully none of them will be there.'

Prisoner painting his ball and chain.

The Island

Dying man in desert to friend as vultures approach; 'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

'I'm thinking the west coast again this year.'

'You again? Are you here every day?'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'So, how long have you been managing the Department of What Could Possible Go Wrong?'

Stupid Cupid.

'No, thanks. You'll never get me into one of those.'

"As a potential lottery winner, I totally support tax cuts for the wealthy."

A smoking ban now applies to all indoor spaces.

'I want to cancel my subscription to the world wildlife fund.'

'Dunno about this global warming! Where's the sun gone?'