Ironic Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

Shooting Cupid.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"His first out-of-body experience."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Dog Walking Services

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

Skiing.

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Intelligent people laugh too!

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"