Absurdist Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

'I need to see your latest energy bill. You may be eligible for a discount.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Boomerang cow.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

Franz Kafka

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Eugene Ionesco

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

That's It

A Centaur Taking A Shower

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

One afternoon on mars.

"This isn't a donor heart. It's a tuna on rye."

The Old Man and the Noodle.

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

Penguin's Catch

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."