Absurdist Comedy Fan Gifts

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

One afternoon on mars.

The Old Man and the Noodle.

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

'Whoops. That's my phone. Would you mind...'

'So I got my people to meet with their people, and that's the last I heard from either of them.'

Always leave the booth at the sound of the BEEEEEP!

'OOOoh!'

Man going through a car wash in a bath tub.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Nazi Planes

101 uses of a dead cat: mooring post.

Miss Wilson, please send in the cow.

Rhinoceros playing Bilboquet.

'Sorry folks, Tractor Beam's broken. We'll have to use a tractor piece of rope.'

"Which one of you idiots left the ladder here?"

"Humm baby!! Let's go campy Lunar Colony!!!"

"Personally, I think the BB guns make it even more barbaric."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

Gregor awakes from anxious dreams to find he has hands for feet and feet for hands.

"Gregor, you idiot… leftover Applebee's in bed."

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

"This is an opportunity to simplify your life - don't blow it."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Pastry Hat

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

Boomerang cow.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

"That's right. An increase in your title!"

Franz Kafka