Fan Of Absurdist Humor Gifts

"I had a brainstorm at the Existential Marketing Seminar. What if we did nothing?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Pastry Hat

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Boomerang cow.

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

Franz Kafka

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Eugene Ionesco

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

A Centaur Taking A Shower

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

Chick Billiard Ball

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat