Absurdist Comedy Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I need to see your latest energy bill. You may be eligible for a discount.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Boomerang cow.

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

Franz Kafka

Eugene Ionesco

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

A Centaur Taking A Shower

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

One afternoon on mars.

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

The Old Man and the Noodle.

"It's a smaller, less destructive nuclear weapon, but it's also a hat."

"Can you suggest a nice Bordeaux that will complement the squirrel-infused manure?"

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'