Absurdist Comedy Admirer T-Shirts

'It was the only white thing I had.'

Baseball.

The Grim Reaper's Letter Box with a Scythe as the Flag indicator.

'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

Eugene Ionesco

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

A Centaur Taking A Shower

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

"Normally this is where I would say something funny but the cartoonist is quiet quitting, too."

Cakeless.

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

One afternoon on mars.

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

The Old Man and the Noodle.

Performance Artist, Performance Spectator

"Another impulse purchase?"

"Gregor, you idiot… leftover Applebee's in bed."

"It's a smaller, less destructive nuclear weapon, but it's also a hat."

For the War Inventions Board. The Armoured Bayonet-curler for the Spoiling the Temper of the Enemy's Steel

"I guess the German takeover was successful."

"This pizza party tastes a lot like layoffs."

"It's perfect."

'Sorry folks, Tractor Beam's broken. We'll have to use a tractor piece of rope.'

101 uses of a dead cat: slingshot.

Sorry Jerry, you've gone all muffly. Have you been shat on again?

"Please welcome our third guest, a toddler with a temper tantrum."

Doomsdayer waves sign saying 'The world isn't going to end, it's just going to suck'.

"To be honest Henry, I think I preferred your early brutalist potato period."