Absurd Comedy Admirer T-Shirts

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he was stoked to realize he now had a reason to bail on brunch.

Dolphin at bar - 'I'm in disguise'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Optimist

Zoo: No Hunting.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Monster Clown

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

Eugene Ionesco

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"Is it OK if I turn the humidifier up a bit?"

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

Department of Belly Buttons - Innies/Outies Tray

'Now just learn to whistle and I'll be rich!'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

101 uses of a dead cat: rocking horse

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel...let down your hair ball."

Giant sandwich bags.

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"Normally this is where I would say something funny but the cartoonist is quiet quitting, too."