Ironic Humor Buff Pillows

"It's 5 o'clock already! Where did the day go?"

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Cat Nip.

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"Look! No hands!"

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

'He does lack social skills.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

The Golfing Accident

"I have no thumbs."

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"And would you like flies with that?"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Winter Weather.

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"