Absurdist Comedy Buff Pillows

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Boomerang cow.

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Franz Kafka

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Eugene Ionesco

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

"My husband wanted me to get a boob job, so I became a stand-up comedian."

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

Unlikely Fly Scenario

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

Gigolo Diary

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

One afternoon on mars.

The Old Man and the Noodle.

"Another impulse purchase?"

Penguin's Catch

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

NO ANCHOVIES!, 'It's getting harder and harder to keep up with politics these days.'

New From Why? Books

"Gregor, you idiot… leftover Applebee's in bed."