Humor Buff Pillows

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Cockney rhyming slang,

'Perhaps you'd prefer to come back another time, sir.'

"Good news. The test results show it's a metaphor."

'Well, it's inventory time again -- You do the rocks and I'll do the sticks.'

'Too much botox, Mavis!'

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

A Fork-lift.

'Your resume is quite impressive. However, I'm a little concerned about you biting your last 4 bosses.'

"I know nobody needs one, that's where the advertising people come in"

"The new manager hasn't much experience of radio production"

Adam chasing Eve with a leaf blower.

"Now this is our standard company contract - I want you to stick in a couple of loopholes."

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

'Had it all until I lost my Blackberry.'

"Whoops-sorry. That's my porn name."

Caller I.Q.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Snowman about melting snowman: 'Just once I'd like to meet someone who isn't a fair weather friend.'

"I understand that curiosity is a good thing in non-cats."

Sock Without Partners Sock Hop

'Between the two of them, they left you three bales of hay and six bundles of sticks.'

'It's really getting crowded around here! I think we should move to a larger dog.'

Lady Doctor: 'I can fit you with a prosthetic.' Dog: 'A faux paw?'

'Good evening. I'm Scotty, the loss prevention specialist.'

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

A Palindrome Cow.

Voice Mail meets Caller ID

Chocolate Machine: Insert Money. Select choc bar. Pull handle. Wait. Kick hell out of machine.

'You guys, we got it all wrong! It's supposed to be when the cat's away, the mice will play!'

"Don't mention lemons. Instead, say this vehicle was previously owned by a citrus farmer."

Mechanics price list.

"This is a rough neighbourhood!"

'You're caught in a pickle! It's hopeless! Drop the knife!!'

'...working for that Professor Schr?dinger didn't help.'