Humor Buff Pillows

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Cockney rhyming slang,

'Perhaps you'd prefer to come back another time, sir.'

"Good news. The test results show it's a metaphor."

'Well, it's inventory time again -- You do the rocks and I'll do the sticks.'

'Too much botox, Mavis!'

Humpty Dumpty Travel Agency.

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

A Fork-lift.

'Your resume is quite impressive. However, I'm a little concerned about you biting your last 4 bosses.'

"I know nobody needs one, that's where the advertising people come in"

"The new manager hasn't much experience of radio production"

Adam chasing Eve with a leaf blower.

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

"Now this is our standard company contract - I want you to stick in a couple of loopholes."

"I understand that curiosity is a good thing in non-cats."

'Good evening. I'm Scotty, the loss prevention specialist.'

'Between the two of them, they left you three bales of hay and six bundles of sticks.'

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

Lady Doctor: 'I can fit you with a prosthetic.' Dog: 'A faux paw?'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Snowman about melting snowman: 'Just once I'd like to meet someone who isn't a fair weather friend.'

A Palindrome Cow.

"Whoops-sorry. That's my porn name."

'It's really getting crowded around here! I think we should move to a larger dog.'

Caller I.Q.

Sock Without Partners Sock Hop

'Had it all until I lost my Blackberry.'

'This model comes with F.S.H - P.S. - E.W. - C.C. - A.B.S and B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.'

"This is a rough neighbourhood!"

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

Chocolate Machine: Insert Money. Select choc bar. Pull handle. Wait. Kick hell out of machine.

'Dave? This diploma is from Uncle Willie's 21 day College of Neurology, this is an award for second prize in a bowling tournament, and this is for third prize in a pig-calling contest.'

Buttbook

Mechanics price list.