Whimsical Humor Gifts

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'

'These little green pills should help you get your Irish up.'

"Our flavors of the day are Prodigal, Importune, and Mal de Siècle."

Bob! Relax! You're wagging too hard!

Slug Nightmares

'Come down from that shelf, tuna can. . . come dooown. . .'

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

Sock Puppet in Literature

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

"I said slime."

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Dog in casino.

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

''Now we're the only yard in the block with a blue apple tree!'

KAWAII T'AI CHI

The worm that churned!

Ask A Silly Question.

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

Woman throwing giant pot.

'The guy who made me is a fan of Magritte.'

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

'Sheep striptease'.

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'