Whimsical Diner Gifts

"Who ordered the rabbit?"

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"Hurry up! I'm gasping for a cheese sandwhich."

"I hear the sparrow-goldfish chowder is to die for...at least once."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"For drinks or dinner?"

'The customer is always right...'

"The usual."

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Fresh pepper?"

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'Shall I bring two children's meals, or will Madam regurgitate her own?'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

Sorry, that's probably one of mine.

'It probably wasn't a good idea to ask for seperate cheques.'

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

"Dinner looks delicious."

'And for the Queen of Whiny Eaters, two pieces of bologna, cut into quarter-inch squares, coated with Abe's Barbecue Sauce...'