Dramatic Diner Gifts

"Must you create a scene every time the bill arrives?"

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"We're all dying to try something that you set on fire at our table."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"Who had the rainforest vinaigrette?"

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"How was the food sir?"

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

Man walks into a restaurant with a sign saying "Billy Bob's Diner - We don't let the federal government tell us what to do with our tainted beef".

The food was nice...but something was missing.

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."

"I hear the sparrow-goldfish chowder is to die for...at least once."

"What kind of mod are you in? Sit Down or All You Can Eat From The Trough?"

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

Today's Special: Escargot Appetizer

'The chef says that the quail was out but he prepared that little critter he ran over on the motorway which tastes similar and you nouveau riche snobs will never notice the difference anyway.'

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

Sunday Roast.

"Everything on the menu is locally sourced."

'I highly recommend the mousecargot.'

"Hurry up! I'm gasping for a cheese sandwhich."

'Can you send this back to the kitchen. It's cold.'