Diner Drama Enthusiast Gifts

"The truth is, I don't even know who you are anymore. Let's see some ID."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

The Perfect Foil

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

"What will change my life?"

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

"How was the food sir?"

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

"How's everything?"

'How is the Peking Duck prepared?' 'I'll break it to her gently.'

"Quick! Tiptoe out and phone the Fire Service!"