Diner Drama Enthusiast Gifts

"The truth is, I don't even know who you are anymore. Let's see some ID."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

The Perfect Foil

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine.'

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

"Wait. Let it breathe."

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

"What will change my life?"

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

"I will avenge the underdone fish that ruined my dinner if it's the last thing I ever do."

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"How was the food sir?"

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

'How is the Peking Duck prepared?' 'I'll break it to her gently.'

"How's everything?"

Now squeeze sharply five times - that should dislodge the tip from his coat pocket.