Drama Diner Gifts

'Careful, this plate may be a little hot.'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Countervailing Clichés.

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

The Perfect Foil

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine.'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'After you with the camouflage.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'You made me jump,'

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'