Dramatic Dining Enthusiast Gifts

"You cheeky little monkey, Stephen, trying to pinch a chip."

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'Shall I bring two children's meals, or will Madam regurgitate her own?'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

'Romano, Romano, wherefore art thou Romano?'

'Congratulations, dear...the squid appears fresh!'

"If I were a car, you could find the words."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

'How is everything at this table?'

'How can you hate something you've never tried?!'

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

"How's everything?"

"Hog Hell"

'I don't want a free coffee, I want that chef out of the country!'

"Examine the bottle? Sniff the cork? At these prices why am I doing all the work?"

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

"We're all dying to try something that you set on fire at our table."

'I'll have the Pollack salad, and a glass of house wine.'

"Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art my pizza, Romeo?"

"There, dammit. Is that enough pepper for you??"

Sunday Roast.

"I knew it."

'What's the soup of the day?' 'Heinz.'

"Dear God, noooooo oooo!" "The Oreo tragedy"

Fly at the tennis club cafe.

'Can you send this back to the kitchen. It's cold.'

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

'No, the fish isn't battered - the cook just roughs it up a bit!'

'I'll have the dessert list and he'll have the Heimlich maneuver.'

A gentleman and his butler in a dining room.

"What wine would you recommend to go with male chauvinist pork?"