Dramatic Dining Enthusiast Gifts

"You cheeky little monkey, Stephen, trying to pinch a chip."

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'Shall I bring two children's meals, or will Madam regurgitate her own?'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

'Romano, Romano, wherefore art thou Romano?'

'Congratulations, dear...the squid appears fresh!'

"If I were a car, you could find the words."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

'How is everything at this table?'

'How can you hate something you've never tried?!'

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

"How's everything?"

"Hog Hell"

"Examine the bottle? Sniff the cork? At these prices why am I doing all the work?"

'I don't want a free coffee, I want that chef out of the country!'

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

"There, dammit. Is that enough pepper for you??"

"We're all dying to try something that you set on fire at our table."

'I'll have the Pollack salad, and a glass of house wine.'

'Can you send this back to the kitchen. It's cold.'

"Dear God, noooooo oooo!" "The Oreo tragedy"

"I knew it."

Sunday Roast.

Fly at the tennis club cafe.

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

'No, the fish isn't battered - the cook just roughs it up a bit!'

"That's not good enough. I'd like a formal list of reasons."

'I'll have the dessert list and he'll have the Heimlich maneuver.'

"What wine would you recommend to go with male chauvinist pork?"

A gentleman and his butler in a dining room.