Dramatic Foodie Gifts

'There's never anything to eat!'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

The Witches Discover The Wok

'Hard to follow...'

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

'It counts as one of your five portions a day.'

'Romano, Romano, wherefore art thou Romano?'

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

"I used to come here to browse. Now I graze."

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

Conchiglie

'Half mushroom and half plankton!'

'I don't want a free coffee, I want that chef out of the country!'

"I thought it was time to throw out the pizza boxes. What's amazing is it's just from the weekend."

"Places, everybody!"

Giggling madly, the lemon seed drifted over to the straw and waited...

"Dear God, noooooo oooo!" "The Oreo tragedy"

Gastropods

'Can you send this back to the kitchen. It's cold.'