Dramatic Foodie Gifts

'There's never anything to eat!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

The Witches Discover The Wok

'Hard to follow...'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

The mission: Impossible burger.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

'Romano, Romano, wherefore art thou Romano?'

'It counts as one of your five portions a day.'

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

"I used to come here to browse. Now I graze."

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

"Places, everybody!"

"I thought it was time to throw out the pizza boxes. What's amazing is it's just from the weekend."

'I don't want a free coffee, I want that chef out of the country!'

'Half mushroom and half plankton!'

Conchiglie

Giggling madly, the lemon seed drifted over to the straw and waited...

"Dear God, noooooo oooo!" "The Oreo tragedy"

Gastropods