Mystical Diner Gifts

"Did you want a Vedic or non-Vedic table?"

"The crystal ball is to indicate when a waiter will next be in this vicinity."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

The Witches Discover The Wok

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"For drinks or dinner?"

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

Zagat Rated.

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"The usual."

"Fresh pepper?"

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"It's made with real angel hair."

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

'It probably wasn't a good idea to ask for seperate cheques.'

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

How To Turn A Closed-Down Nuclear Reactor Into A Theme Restaurant: A Master Plan.

Deep in the heart of the one-star restaurant district...'Guess what you're eating buffet!'

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

'The chef says that the quail was out but he prepared that little critter he ran over on the motorway which tastes similar and you nouveau riche snobs will never notice the difference anyway.'

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

The food was nice...but something was missing.

"Last night I dreamt I was in a fancy french restaurant and everyone was very glad to see me."

"What kind of mod are you in? Sit Down or All You Can Eat From The Trough?"