Mystical Diner T-Shirts

"Did you want a Vedic or non-Vedic table?"

"The crystal ball is to indicate when a waiter will next be in this vicinity."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

The Witches Discover The Wok

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"For drinks or dinner?"

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

Zagat Rated.

"Fresh pepper?"

"The usual."

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"It's made with real angel hair."

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'It probably wasn't a good idea to ask for seperate cheques.'

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

How To Turn A Closed-Down Nuclear Reactor Into A Theme Restaurant: A Master Plan.

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

Deep in the heart of the one-star restaurant district...'Guess what you're eating buffet!'

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"Last night I dreamt I was in a fancy french restaurant and everyone was very glad to see me."

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"I hear the sparrow-goldfish chowder is to die for...at least once."

Your dinner is in the coven.

The food was nice...but something was missing.

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."