Mystery Diner T-Shirts

Deep in the heart of the one-star restaurant district...'Guess what you're eating buffet!'

"... You got the recipe from the woman next door?... Why, have we done something to upset her?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'How is the water prepared?'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"For drinks or dinner?"

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'The customer is always right...'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

'It probably wasn't a good idea to ask for seperate cheques.'

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

"Dinner looks delicious."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

Road Kill Cafe.

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'Maybe we should have read the reviews first?'

Menu.