Unconventional Diner T-Shirts

"I'll start with the arugula-and-goat-cheese salad, and then I'll have the blackened wolf."

Man eating his meal with his feet.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"For drinks or dinner?"

Dali Chooses a Lobster

'The customer is always right...'

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Fresh pepper?"

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

"You need a hobby."

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

Road Kill Cafe.

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'