Quirky Diner Experience Seeker T-Shirts

'Are we indoors or outdoors?'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

"Give him his food."

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Sushi Train Spotters

'Can I get a box for this?'

Our Troubled Chowders

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

Fast Food Restaurant

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

Salad Hat